I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
be right there i have to get my cape
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize