This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize