Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
