did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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