one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
