he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
