He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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