I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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