He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
