Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
