Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
