what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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