i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
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It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
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I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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