Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
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Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
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If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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