You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
