Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
