its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
