Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
