I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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