so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
