I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
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There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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