turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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