so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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