It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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