i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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