My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
