I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
