How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
