make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
