I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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