And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
