If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We need to feng shui this bitch.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
