I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
