I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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