I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
