Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
