I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
