The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
