i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
