Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
