My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
