So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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