I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
