I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
