oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
