i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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