Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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