not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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