i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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