Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
