and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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