Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
