He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
