I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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